Bad Boy Alphas Collection Page 17

  I quickly ran my hands through my bob to give it a more presentable look and straightened my spine. “I’m going back to work, unless you have something else that you’d like to add.”

  Hunter just stared at me as I’d sprouted three heads. I shook my head and made my way out of the bathroom. I didn’t stop till I was outside on the other side of the van. I leaned my back against it and began to rub my temples in slow circular gestures that were meant to soothe.

  Once I was sure I had my frazzled nerves under control, I made my way back inside, my practical smile already in place. The door already had a makeshift Tardis in the front which looked very realistic, and the inside looked very similar.

  It was as if I’d stepped into the actual show, and it made my heart swell with pride as I took in all the hard work everyone put in. The house had random quotes from Doctor Who hanging from the ceiling. I double checked to make sure we had everything on the list then I carefully picked my way to the kitchen where I cautiously announced my presence and kept a few feet between the food and I. The entire staff chuckled at my ambivalence to come closer, but after Ariana explained my earlier mishap, and what had transpired at the restaurant the other night, they all nodded in pity and gave me small smiles.

  My leg shook as my phone vibrated in my pocket. Startled, I took it out and peered at the screen. I continued to stare at it as Evan’s name flashed across the screen, reminding me that I still needed to figure things out with him before I started anything with Hunter.

  Not there was anything to start, but still.

  “You still haven’t ended things?” Ariana whispered, furiously, her eyes squinting at the screen. “What’s the matter with you? You like Hunter, so even if you don’t date him, you aren’t going to date Evan.”

  “I know that. I just haven’t found the right moment yet,” I said, defensively as I shut the ringer off and shoved the phone in my pocket.

  Ariana was giving me a stern look as she placed her hands on her hips. “You can’t avoid this forever, Bianca. I know you hate conflict, and you’d rather not be the one to break his heart, but it’s better to end it now, so it won’t hurt as much as it would when you end it down the line.”

  I kept fiddling with my fingers as I thought of what to say. I knew that Ariana was right, but I didn’t know how to do it. I’d never said no to someone before. Usually, they figured it out beforehand, and I was left dumbfounded.

  What was I saying?

  Always the dumpee, never the dumper.

  Okay, I knew that wasn’t an actual saying, but it did apply to me. More than I would care to admit. I knew how to navigate those waters, but this? This was unchartered territory for me, and I had no idea how to even begin to figure it out.

  Maybe I wouldn’t have to.

  Perhaps he was calling to go ahead and end it himself.

  In any case, I doubted it mattered. I had just confessed to Hunter one of my biggest secrets, and I didn’t mean to. It just came cascading forth like a waterfall, and I was powerless to stop it, defenseless against the strength of its current.

  Logically, I understood that it was better that I said it when I did rather than after he and I let things go too far because at the rate we were going, I wouldn’t have gotten the chance, and I didn’t like the way it transpired, nor the where, and definitely not the who. I had a feeling deep in my gut, that if I had let it continue, I would’ve deeply regretted it. I wasn’t romanticizing my first time or anything, but I at least wanted it to be on clean sheets, and with a man who did care about me.

  “We’ll see I guess,” I said, finally as I affected a cheery tone.

  Ariana nodded as she wiped her hands across her jeans. “Alright, well I’m going to go check on something, and I think Wendy wants to tell you something.”

  Dread pooled in the pit of my stomach, but I tried to keep my practiced smile on my face. There was no reason we should treat each other any different given what had occurred earlier

  None at all.

  “Everything alright?” Wendy asked, cheerfully, her bright gaze assessing. I don’t know how I didn’t see it before, but she did resemble her brother in many ways, and so did her daughter. His niece had definitely inherited the eyes. Wendy’s were similar, but a lot lighter and far more expressive than smoldering.

  In her ripped jeans and Nirvana t-shirt, I could see the resemblance now more than ever, and I couldn’t help but wonder what she thought of me.

  “Yeah, everything’s fine,” I responded as blithely as I could. “Have you taken a look around? Made sure everything is to your liking?”

  Wendy nodded eagerly. “Yes, I have, and I love it. Everything is just as you described it, better even.”

  “I’m glad you like it. Well, the theme song will be playing once the cake comes out, and it has a mini Tardis on it with a candle in the middle,” I described as I used my hand to gesture and help her visualize the picture.

  Wendy’s face brightened when she understood my description. “It sounds perfect. I really hope she likes it.”

  “She’d be crazy not to,” I assured Wendy, and I suddenly lamented the fact that Hunter was her brother. We could’ve been good friends after this, but now I expected it would be too awkward.

  “Listen about earlier,” Wendy began as she glanced around to make sure no one was listening.

  “Wendy I am so sorry, I want you to know I’m not in the habit of behaving like that when I’m on the job,” I interrupted, hastily, eager to get this topic out of the way before I died of shame and embarrassment.

  “Oh, I didn’t think you were,” Wendy frowned. “No, of course not. God, no. Anyway, no, look I didn’t hire you because Hunter told me to. I mean sure initially I called as a favor because he was acting like a dog with a bone, but once I met you, and we got to talking, I realized how much I admired your work, and how much I like you. I’d heard about you before of course, but you are much better than I gave you credit for.”

  “Really?”

  A sense of relief washed over me, but also guilt. Perhaps I was too hard on Hunter.

  As if sensing my thoughts, Wendy continued. “I know my brother can be a complete ass, and it’s none of my business. I always make sure to stay out of Hunter’s business especially when it comes to women, but believe me, he’s never done this for anyone before. He was actually praising your work, so much so that I started to become suspicious, and you should’ve seen the look on his face when he heard you were here.”

  My mouth twitched as I clasped my hands in front of me, unsure of what to say. As his brother, of course she would feel the need to defend him, but she’d also admitted, of her own accord that she wanted to keep her brother in check, and that he was often prone to crazy things.

  This, however, didn’t seem to be one of them. It appeared as if it generally were favorable. The earlier guilt I felt began to spread its way through my body like a disease, riddling me with confusion and doubt.

  Perhaps I had jumped the gun with Hunter. It looked as if Hunter’s intentions were noble and seeing me was just a bonus. I wasn’t sure if I dreaded the idea more or disbelieved it. It would be easier to hate Hunter then a lot of this would just go away.

  Nevertheless, though it might be easier, it wouldn’t be happier.

  “I don’t know what he said, or what he did, but he’s got a good heart even if he doesn’t like to show it,” she said, softly, her eyes filled with some foreign emotion.

  “Um, okay,” I offered, hesitantly. I still wasn’t sure what to say. Here was a woman I didn’t know pouring her heart out about her brother, and I was supposed to have all the answers?

  Yeah, that wasn’t likely.

  I rarely had all the answers to my own problems much less to someone else’s.

  “I don’t, he’s a complete ass,” I offered. Wendy snorted as she gave me a disbelieving look.

  “Not all the time in any case,” I added, ruefully. “But he does have the tendency to put his foot in his mouth.�
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  Wendy choked back a laugh. “Sounds like Hunter. He’s always had that problem. For someone who’s really good with the ladies, you’d think he’d have figure it out by now.”

  I giggled in spite of myself. “One can only hope.”

  We were laughing about it when Hunter interrupted a while later, looking contrite and apologetic.

  “Wendy, do you mind if Bianca and I talk?”

  She cut me a look as she patted her brother on the shoulder. “I’m going to go call and check on Maya.”

  “Can we go somewhere private to talk?” Hunter asked, his eyes boring into mine.

  I hesitated before I nodded my assent and followed him upstairs to a secluded balcony.

  Chapter Seven

  The balcony was beautiful.

  It was more like a spacious patio because of how big it was. Potted plants lined both sides, and there was a hammock in the middle with a small umbrella to shade it. I tried to pick my jaw up off the floor, but I was having a hard time, especially when I saw that there was a hot tub in the middle.

  This wasn’t a balcony.

  The entire room was set up as a private suite with its own bathroom with tiled floors, a huge master bed and a flat screen TV.

  “I know this is your sister’s house, but should we be in here?” I asked, in a hushed voice as if I was afraid to disturb someone which was ridiculous considering there was no one here.

  Hunter smirked. “I certainly hope she has no problem with me being in my own room.”

  “This is your room?” I nearly yelled in surprise before I blushed and ducked my head in embarrassment.

  Why was I acting like a complete idiot?

  I already knew that Wendy had money. I guess I just never paused to consider what that meant, and it never occurred to me that she would have a room for Hunter.

  Scratch that. It wasn’t a room.

  Not by any stretch of the imagination.

  Suddenly the room I had back in my apartment seemed very pitiful in comparison. It was more like a shoebox. One that I adored to death, but still, that didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy the spaciousness of this one.

  “Yeah, I have this for whenever I visit.” Hunter shrugged like it was no big deal.

  How often did one have to visit to score a room like this?

  Was he trying to butter me up again? Flaunt his money?

  I was suddenly weary of showing too much emotion around him lest it be used against me. A voice in the back of my mind told me it was my paranoia talking, but I couldn’t help it. He did lie to get me here after all.

  What else was he lying about?

  Instantly weary, I wrapped my arms around myself and lifted my chin up, doing my best not to stare in awe at my surroundings.

  It really was quite beautiful, but I couldn’t let myself get carried away.

  I needed to get my wits about me, stay sharp, alert and on my feet.

  I sounded like some sort of spy trying to garner information. Entirely too much melodrama for my taste, but still.

  It seemed oddly apt.

  “We won’t be disturbed here.” Hunter closed the door, and strode across the room in long purposeful strides till he reached me. He tugged on my hands, so they came free, and he took them in between his.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice ringing with sincerity. “I shouldn’t have tried to lure you here under false pretenses.”

  “Yes,” I agreed as I shifted awkwardly from one foot to the next, my palms getting sweaty. He didn’t seem to mind though. He just continued to clasp my hands in his as if it was the most natural thing in the world as he gently tugged me forward towards the balcony.

  He gestured towards the hammock, his eyes full of questions. I gave a small imperceptible nod as I sank into the hammock next to him. Out of habit, my body curved into his, and I tried not to keep my head from resting against his shoulder.

  “I had no other way of reaching you, Bianca, and I like you, I really do. However, I don’t know if I can offer you more than what we have here in this moment.”

  His words were punctuated by staccato bursts of crickets.

  I sighed as I freed one of my hands and used it to brush my hair out of my face. “I’m not asking for more than that either, Hunter. I don’t know what the future holds any more than you do.”

  A smile tugged on Hunter’s lips. “So we’re in agreement then?”

  “In that aspect at least,” I conceded. “It isn’t just about existing in the moment though.”

  Hunter expelled a harsh breath. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am about earlier. If I had known that you were a virgin, I wouldn’t have---” He paused and swallowed as he tried to search for the words.

  “Pursued me so vigorously?” I supplied, weakly.

  He was trying to be honest, so it wasn’t his fault that it hurt. After all, I should be used to it by now. How many men had turned away because I was a virgin?

  What was once considered to be one of a woman’s most prized possessions, something men used to kill for was now a liability. Who would’ve thought?

  Hunter grimaced. “No, it’s not about that.”

  I placed my other hand atop his, taking a moment to appreciate the warmth that seeped through. “It’s okay, Hunter. You don’t need to justify it. I’ve had experience with this before.”

  Hunter drew a nervous laugh. “I can’t say that I have to be honest, but it’s not what you think. It’s not that I wouldn’t have pursued you though I will admit it has changed things considerably.”

  My heart skipped a beat. “Are you telling me it wouldn’t have mattered?”

  “I’m saying I don’t think it matters now. It isn’t a big deal to me if it isn’t to you,” Hunter revealed. “What you want to do about that is entirely up to you.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means I won’t push you to do anything you don’t want to do. I know it’s different for women,” Hunter clarified. “And I respect that.”

  “Oh.” I bit down on my bottom lip, riddled with doubt and confusion.

  “If you don’t mind my asking, why haven’t you? You’re young, smart, funny and sexy as hell,” he ventured as he gave me a small smile.

  “It never seemed like the right time, so I waited. Next thing I know I’m twenty-four,” I confessed, and that was close to the truth as I was going to reveal tonight.

  I hadn’t lied about that.

  It was a lot more complex than that.

  How could I begin to explain to him what it felt like? The terror I began to feel whenever a man came close to being in between my legs.

  It wasn’t rational, I knew that, and it had nothing to do with a previous trauma or anything like that. It was simply fear.

  Fear of letting go of something I’d gotten used to.

  Though I suppose adapting to it couldn’t hurt.

  So the lack of this particular aspect wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

  Not as far as I knew.

  I just had nothing to compare it to.

  “You never even came close?” Hunter’s eyebrow climbed to his hairline.

  “Oh, no I did, a bunch of times. More than I’d care to admit in recent years, but something always stopped me,” I admitted as I ran my thumb across his hand.

  The oddly intimate gesture had a calming effect on both of us.

  “Is it because of religious reasons?” Hunter asked, and the look on his face would’ve been comical had it not been for the total seriousness of the situation.

  A surprised bark escaped my lips. “No, it’s not that I have anything against people who want to wait till they’re married or whatever, but no that isn’t it. I wouldn’t call myself religious.”

  “Is it something someone drilled into you when you were little?” Hunter asked, curiously as he shifted his weight to adjust to the hammock. The movement had me toppling to the side, so that I was squished against his side with one leg thrown over him.

  My entire b
ody hummed at the contact, and I immediately struggled to scramble away from him, but his arms weren’t moving. They’d wrapped around me, enclosing me in a cocoon of warmth, one I was reluctant to leave despite my absolute insistence that I should.

  “Stay,” Hunter whispered, gently as he tilted my chin up to look at me. I blinked up at him, stormy grey boring into hazel, a silent question that was asked.

  I tensed as I waited to see how my body felt. It was at this moment that I felt my fight or flight instincts kick in. I couldn’t pinpoint why. Sure, I’d had my fair share of heartbreaks, but not enough to turn me off of men completely.

  In spite of my better judgement, I felt myself snuggling against Hunter’s side, and he responded by tucking me under his chin and wrapping his arms even tighter. It was a quaint gesture, one that wasn’t sexual in nature which surprised me, given how our relationship started.

  It cast enough doubt on where this was going for me to stay quiet as I splayed my arms across his chest and drew aimless shapes. Hunter turned his head and placed a soft kiss to the side of my face.

  A sigh escaped my lips at the gesture as I peeked up at him. “There’s something else you want to ask, isn’t there?”

  He gave me a half smile, his eyes slightly hazy as if he were in some kind of trance. “Yeah, I don’t think you want to hear this one.”

  “Now you have to tell me.” I poked his side.

  “Nah.”

  “You can’t make a statement like that and expect my curiosity not to be piqued.”

  “Damn, you’re right. Should’ve thought that one through.” He ran his hands through my hair, pausing to rub the silky strands beneath his fingertips. I found myself wanting to lean into his touch and purr, which had never happened to me before.

  “So you’ll tell me?” I brightened.

  “That depends,” he said as he playfully ruffled my hair.

  I gave him a dirty look as I smoothed it back into place. “On?”